Being able to express your wants and needs can be a liberating experience. However, many people still have trouble when it comes to self-expression, especially when it comes to making love. Here are some tips to help you become more eloquent in expressing your desires.
Let Go of Your Inhibitions
There are several things that could hold you back from really enjoying yourself during a sexually charged encounter. One is your upbringing. You may feel that there are some things that aren’t proper or should not be said and done by a proper person. You don’t think you can be too forward. But you still cannot help feeling turned on when something improper happens. What you need to understand is that people give themselves up to their baser instincts when they feel the urge to have sex.
This said, the best sex you can have can happen if you let these inhibitions go and just follow what makes you feel good, psychologically and emotionally. One other thing is to learn how to separate your sexual identity from your usual self. What you show during sex is what you are sexually, but that doesn’t define who you are as a person. It’s just one facet of the whole.
Don’t Over-Analyze Your Actions and Words
You tend to feel self-conscious when you realize just how much your words and actions are telling of your desires. This happens a lot when you feel the need to edit your actions and words so that they come off nice and inoffensive. In normal conversation, this tendency is good, and you’ll be known as a diplomatic individual who knows what to say and when to say it. However, this self-analysis and self-editing could become a hindrance when it comes to dating and being intimate.
If you wait until you come up with the right words to go with your actions, you may never get around to asking someone verbally and non-verbally to go home with you. Worse, you come across as insecure, awkward and not sexy at all. Some people misconstrue your hesitation as lack of attention or interest.
Learn the Art of Timing
Strong anxiety about intimacy can be due to the fact that there’s always no “proper time” to express your desires. This happens often when you don’t know how to steer the conversation in the direction of sex and intimacy. Knowing innuendo and how to use it to turn someone on isn’t enough. You have to be able to say it at the right time, and when the person is most receptive to your suggestion.
Timing is seeing gaps in the interaction and bridging those gaps with non-verbal and verbal means to show affection or interest. Lean over and whisper a one-liner when the object of your desire seems listless. Ask your date to dance so that you can be in a position to whisper your invitation. If you’re in a place with extremely loud music, you can take a break and go outside for some fresh air with your date.
Expressing your desires means imposing your presence in another person’s personal space. This means you have to be really sure about your intention and know the best way to present your invitation so that the other person can respond accordingly.